An
internet romance scam took an unexpected turn, writes Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani.
When
Maria Grette first discovered that the 58-year-old Danish man with whom she had
fallen in love was actually a 24-year-old Nigerian 419 internet scammer, the
62-year-old Swede was distraught. But, soon, her feelings changed.
"The
most terrible thing was not that he had cheated me, but that he had lost his
innocence," she said.
She
became consumed with what she describes as "a profound need to make a
difference to the people of Nigeria".
Ms
Grette's relationship with Johnny (not his real name) began after an evening of
fun and games with her girlfriends, during which they playfully created a
profile for her on an online dating website. A few years before, she had gone
through a traumatic divorce, and her friends teased her about finally starting
a new relationship.
But
when the fun of creating her profile was over, Ms Grette, who works as an arts
teacher, painter and arts therapist, didn't give much further thought to the
website.
"I
received messages telling me that people had contacted me, but I never looked
at them," she said.
Then,
one day, she did.
"I
still don't know why," she said. "It was like a sudden impulse
happening before I could stop it."
That
particular message was from a man who described himself as a Dane raised in
South Carolina, USA; a civil engineer working on a contract in England; a
widower with a son in a Manchester university.
"I
was caught up by the atmosphere and by something in his words," she said.
***************************************************************************
The
pre-amble
Johnny:
"I wish I could see through your eyes and see what you like to see"
Maria:
"I like to see the truth, and often the truth is more beautiful and
greater than people dare to realize"
Johnny:
"You talk in parable´s. I can´t wait to see you"
Maria:
"I can't understand how you can think so dedicated of me, when you have
never met me. That scares me."
*****************************************************************************
"We
spent some time writing, then he called from a UK number."
Ms
Grette, who had lived in different countries across Europe, was surprised that
she could not place the man's accent. She mentioned this to him but didn't give
it too much thought.
"I
wanted to meet him because I liked him," she said. "He had a way and
a sweetness I had never known in a man before. And he was innocent in a way
that puzzled me."
Ms
Grette put all these qualities down to "an old fashioned upbringing and an
isolated life - living in hotels and spending his free time on golf courses
owing to much travelling".
After
three months of communicating, the man agreed to come over and visit her in
Sweden. But before that, he and his son needed to make a quick trip to Nigeria
for a job interview, he said.
Johnny
called to let her know that he was at Heathrow Airport. And to say that he had
landed in Nigeria. He also got her to speak with Nick. The next phone call was
to tell her that he was in a Lagos hospital.
Unfortunately,
his bank did not have a branch in Africa, he added, so it would take time to
transfer money from his UK account. Meanwhile, the hospital management was
requesting €1000 to proceed with treatment.
The
request
"Honey,
I am in the hospital right now using the doctor´s laptop to send you this
message so you can know my situation. Honey, if Nick dies I will also die with
him, I have been crying, I wish I could call you, I wish I never came here, I
will never forgive myself for bringing Nick along with me. I will call you with
the doctor´s phone and send you an email later if I have the chanse.
"Honey,
I am happy to hear from you and I am still at the hospital. The doctor said we
where lucky we where not kidnapped. The bank does not have a location in
Africa, so it will take time to get money and the management are requesting
1000 euros to proceed with treatment. Nick is all I have got and I will not
forgive myself if anything happens to him. I am confused, and I do not know
where to turn at the moment......"
"I
will never forget how I rushed to the Western Union office, trembling while I
did the transfer," Ms Grette said.
"All
I could think of was to get the two persons in Nigeria out of danger."
The
plot developed after that initial transfer. Medical complications called for
more money. The doctors demanded more advance fees.
Several
thousands of euro later, in what she describes as "coming to her
senses", Maria realised that something was amiss.
She
stopped responding to his messages.
Three
weeks after her silence, he called her and confessed. He told her that he was
not who she thought he was.
"I
said I already knew that. I asked him to tell me his true identity and he
did."
He
was a 24-year-old Nigerian 419 scammer. He had finished university two years
earlier but had no job.
He
further described himself as a "devil" who had wronged "a lovely
woman".
"He
said he had never met anyone like me before, that he had been fighting his
feelings for me for a long time. He said his scamming mates had warned him
about falling in love with a 'client', that he had ignored them because he
trusted me and did not want to lose contact with me."
The
reveal
From
this point on, their communication took a new turn. There were no further
requests for cash.
"The
attraction I started feeling was to the person who was revealing himself to
me... It was still him, but with a new name and different age and
circumstances," she said.
Johnny
sent her a photograph of himself, but Maria was not satisfied with that.
"I
wanted to meet him," she said. "I could not live with this
relationship unless it was adjusted to reality in all senses."
In
October 2009, Ms Grette travelled to Africa for the first time in her life.
"When
I saw him at the airport in Abuja, tears fell over his face, and I knew I had
known him all my life."
Ms
Grette described her two weeks in Nigeria as blissful, a period during which
she and Johnny succeeded in transforming their romantic feelings for each other
into a good friendship.
She
met his friends, many of whom were also scammers. It was while enjoying their
company one night in a local bar that she began to wonder how she could make a
difference.
"I
asked myself what I could do to prevent a situation where healthy, good young
men fall into this trap," she said.
An
idea came to her two years later, in 2011, after she saw an article on a
Nigerian news website about an arts exhibition.
Over
the past six years, Ms Grette has arranged for a number of African artists to
visit Europe for arts exhibitions, workshops, conferences and competitions.
She
has assisted them to source international grants and other funding to advance
their work.
She
has also visited Uganda to give talks on art, and is looking forward to another
visit to Nigeria scheduled for later this year.
Ms
Grette, now 69 and living in Norway, is elated at the opportunity to improve
the lives of these young artists.
"Johnny
has given me more than he took," she said, "Without him, I would not
have met Africa."
When
she'd visited him in Abuja, Johnny promised Ms Grette that he would give up
scamming.
With
her assistance, he left Nigeria shortly afterwards, to study in America.
Although
they have not met each other again since, she continued to provide him with
financial assistance until he completed his degree a few years ago and got a
job in the American oil sector.
"He
is very dear to me," she said.
"He
has asked me so many times to forgive him and I told him that the most
important thing is to forgive himself."
Source: BBC
