"Patriarchal Nonsense"

I used to ponder on why

my "better half" let me down

in a way that always hurts

after we made our matchless vow

to stay for better or for worse -

until death sets us apart

but -

I've learned to let go

after all we all can only try

to do what's right in this life

where we come and go.

I was then thirty

with a youthful hue

as fresh as dew

that and many others

attracted me to him and others

who thought that I "am witty

graceful and not cocky".

Yet, those were not enough

to make him stay home although

he had cheated and

that was not the first.

What makes it worse

is the onus society places

on me the woman and not what

he the man does in most cases

to keep a union such as ours

from coming to an end. 

I became to him what most men

see in their mothers who

broke their hymen

before marriage who

they/society labels whoes - not him

who appears to have the right

to dangle his manhood

in every house he deems fit -

then again - it's a man's world?

While I dearly want to jab underfoot

the numerous cancers of our society I 

certainly cannot with a single post

although this is a start -

so should I live another day I

would tell a story which might cost

me friends and some sanity -

but better that than permit

this patriarchal idiocy

under his authoritarian jackboot.

Yeah, I doubted every time he said

"I love you"  because when he lied

he would - with a Judas kiss.

And he had me believe it was 

because I couldn't suffice

his most pressing manly needs

including his fetish for blowjob.

Rather 'kind' to showcase his prop

whenever the stage necessitated it.

Yes, I was his showpiece when he deemed it fit -

a day's joy was but a bubble

as his heart seemed unattainable.

The man who had said I do

had become his own foe -

so unpredictable predictable.

I figured I was not enough

to please and pleasure him over time

and had to face the truth that I'm better off ...

not living in denial and the dream

that a man whose sisters had served

him nearly all his life -

wouldn't be needing another "slave" christened a wife.

Because out of his rips I was taken -

to be his "helper", sex object and for his kitchen:

such patriarchal nonsense

posited by men with a double dose of insolence.

Stop Violence Against Women

I served my couch a billion tears from a bitter heart -

because the punching, kicking, name-calling was tearing us apart

and I prayed it would end

as it appeared I wasn't good

to keep him from cheating

over and over with the bluff

that he was going to change and

realize that I am good enough.

He never did and like me

you don't need his permission

to make the decision

not to any longer tolerate

this patriarchal nonsense

and end the marriage

but it would be painstakingly tough

and society would take offense

because it expects you and me

to accept this patriarchal nonsense.

For statistics on violence against women in Ghana read at: http://gendercentreghana.org/?p=63

Source:cmcghana.blogspot.com/Crabbe Nathaniel

 PHOTOS:

Malala